19 and 32

So, for fun, I thought it would be kind of neat to write a short-story of me interacting with my 13-year-old self. Needless to say, I didn’t have too much trouble putting it together. 

Ken (age 32): Just wait till you get to be my age!

Ken(age 13):  You mean I actually survive till my 30’s?

Ken 32:  Of course you do! What makes you say that.

Ken 13:  You forget, I’m in middle school….in Dallas.

Ken 32:  Relax! It can’t be that bad.

Ken 13:  You DO have bad memory then. I’m  itchy…smelly…and constantly feel awkward.

Ken 32:  It’s called puberty! You’ll get pass it.

Ken 13:  That and the fact I didn’t shower today.

Ken 32:  HA! Gross.

Ken 13:  Well it’s not like it’s a habit. It’s been a long day. Anyway, do I grow up to be a Meteorologist or what!?

Ken 32:  Well, let me put it this way…..no.

Ken 13:  WHAT!?!?

Ken 32:  But you do get to work in media. And you’ll be a minister. Oh, and you’ll be a cartoonist.

Ken 13:  Hmm…well, gotta have a back-up! Wait, hold on….I’ve got so many questions.

Ken 32:  I bet…

Ken 13:  I preach!? And I actually create cartoons and stuff!?

Ken 32:  Yep

Ken 13:  I preach….and I’m a….

Ken 32:  A cartoonist…yes. And a writer… And you’re gonna do other media stuff. Oh, and you’ll get married in your early 30’s to an amazing women.

Ken 13:  WHAT!?!? How in the world did I go from THIS to THAT!?!?

Ken 32:  Jesus…a whole, whole, whole lot of Jesus. And you were faithful. You worked hard. You grew up. You matured. You changed. And you didn’t give up. You kept going.

Ken 13: (pauses and looks away) ……. So I actually become somebody.

Ken 32:  You already are. Just be yourself.

Ken 13:  I keep hearing that….but I hear ya.

(a pause between both)

Ken 13:  That means you know….uh….my deepest….personal thoughts….correct?

Ken 32:  Yep. But, don’t worry, you’ll get past that stuff too. Get prepared to see a counselor or two.

(13 year old self sighs)

Ken 13:  So I figured.

Ken 32:  Surprised!? Concerned?! Maybe anxious!?

Ken 13:  Actually, no…..now I’m curious. Looking forward to the future now.

Ken 32:  To the future!

Ken 13:  To the future!

(Ken 13 and Ken 32 pop open a can of Dr. Pepper at the same time)

 

 

caredul.jpg

I have a confession to make! Sometimes, I get concerned about what I should or should not say or what I should and should not write.

So, sometimes I say nothing. Absolutely nothing. Oh sure, I have my moments, but, for the longest time, I didn’t say or do anything on the grounds that it could cost me.

I could end up in a confrontation that I’m just not wanting to start.

I may make people who are “religious” angry and people who are not excited.

Or I could make “religious” people happy and people who are not very angry.

I could make the person of another political view happy and the other angry. And vice versa.

Or…people may think I’m weird and different or they may not like me.

WHO….CARES!!?

I have come to find out that not doing something that you have truly been called and purposed to do only to declare fear or worry is lacking faith. And, by the way, it robs other people of what you have to help them.

Playing it safe is something that I’m sure came from my childhood.

In the past, I was told certain stories I wrote were not good. I was told that the ministry I wanted to start using comics and cartoons would not work. I was told that adults didn’t watch cartoons or read comic books. I was told that writing wasn’t a reasonable profession.

I’m glad I ignored such ridiculous thoughts. It sounds like these individuals were actually afraid for their own lives and only wished to see me fail so their point can be proven.

I did my best to avoid getting into fights at school. I kept to my own world. I tried to keep the peace at all costs. But years later, I realized that being “nice” was not enough. It was never meant to be. I had to learn to grow out of playing it safe. I had to learn to take risks and…yes…step out on faith.

My challenge to us all is to take risks that open us up to a much larger story than the ones we try to craft on our own.

HELD BACK

Nothing like a good friend and mentor to help snap you out of strange thought patterns. That actually happened to me a few hours before writing this blog.

I have a friend and mentor, Gerald, whom I talk to often about topics like manhood, social issues and life. He actually spoke some pretty powerful and encouraging words. He often reminds me that I’m responsible for pushing forward and having faith to believe that things will come together.

THAT is a hard thing to believe. As a Christian, it is essential that I have faith and believe that God can and will do as He promised. And, it is important that faith accompanies whatever activity that is good and noble and purposed in my life.

And yet, it is a fight! A daily fight!

You have to fight for the time. You have to fight through distractions. You have to fight to focus. You have to fight through aches and pains. You have to fight through moments of just not feeling like it. You have to fight through feelings and emotions that run contrary to what is in your heart.

In me is this yearning desire to write and draw and create and to make a difference in the world. And my friend, Gerald, knows it! The next questions came.

“What’s stopping you!?”

The answer…nothing. Nothing but me. And maybe that’s you. Maybe the reason you’ve not made it to that certain place in life is because you’ve not pushed as hard as you could. Or maybe you don’t believe that what you have to offer…that your gifts and talents…or that your ideas…are simply of no value.

We often stop ourselves before we even bother doing or creating. I run into people all the time who talk big about the “projects” they are “working on” but the projects never materialize. It’s embarrassing…and I refuse to fall into that category.

So…what is holding you back!? And what can you do differently to change that!

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