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Free To Speak

March 17, 2017 — 3 Comments

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On a Friday morning I had a chance to go to the barbershop while I was out of town in Oklahoma City.

You know the experience especially if you’ve ever ventured into a predominantly black barbershop. Their’s that familiar sound of electric clippers humming in the background, boisterous conversations over the current affairs of the day and sometimes you get a hint of background noise from the TV or radio.

I normally don’t go to the barbershop, but this time, I had a chance to experience this very familiar moment once again. The discussion between the barbers and the people in the shop turned from who was the best quarterback in football to the president and the congress and finally to race and culture.

As I sat there, I quietly listened. It reminded me of the times I was a little boy. I would sit and listen to this adults go back and forth until they were blue in the face. But then it hit me…I am free to speak now! I actually have a voice! I am an adult with the privilege to share my views and analysis.

One gentlemen said a few things I both agreed and disagreed with. I listened intently to the man’s take on race, prejudice, life, women, politics and much more. My arms and legs were crossed and my eyes slowly wandered as to avoid staring.

As I was getting my haircut, I felt this deep, bottom of my stomach urge to speak up. I really, really, didn’t want too. Seriously, I didn’t!

I mean, what could I possibly contribute to this conversation? What would happen if I did say something? Who would care? Why would it matter? Who on earth needs to even hear it? I don’t have the background, experience or anything to back up what comes out?

The conversation was finally over! I realized I just about lost my opportunity to speak up. I felt like such a loser at that moment. A really deep part of me demanded to speak out and I kept silent.

But just as I was about to give up, the conversation started back up.

I added my two cents! A consensus was made with a very understandable group of men who heard what I had to say. In fact, they even demanded more depth from me, which I might add was pretty cool! Here I am, a young guy being asked to expand on my analysis in front of men who were several years older than me.

Deep down, this very real, masculine, powerful and vocal part of me wanted to speak out and I almost missed out.

Why!? Because we short change ourselves! We doubt if we really have what it takes. We doubt if we could make a difference. We sit back and allow things to unfold and cower in the back.

The experience at the barbershop moved me from being the boy who sat back and watched to a real man with real perspective and real insight.

Being In Love

August 18, 2016

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I am in love….there, I said it!

I believed that love existed and I believed it could be. But, I was pretty skeptical about it ever happening to me.

Then, I met her…this amazing women whom for the long time was a friend. I’m not mentioning her name here right now because, frankly, I didn’t ask permission to do so.

The more I got to know her, the more I wanted to know. Curiosity turned into something else…appreciation…affection…love. And this time, I didn’t fight it. Every other thought about her began to turn into every single thought.

Interesting thing about love…real, genuine love. It makes you want to be a better person. You’ll want to step up your A-game. You’ll want to think of awesome ways to make that person you truly care about feel special. You even want to improve and grow and learn a little better. And everything in your life gradually stops being all about “me,” but turns into “we.”

You know the feeling, right? Your heart races, you get lightheaded and you can barely speak because it’s like the wind got knocked out of you and, add to it, silence seems to say so much more than your own words.

The feeling is AMAZING. It’s like, as Charlie Brown said in “The Peanuts Movie,” “all of life’s possibilities become so clear.”

Part of me, as I write this, wants to say, “you should try falling in love sometime,” but that would be like asking you to experience something that is actually a gift…a gift that I didn’t think I was truly ready or capable of handling…until now.