Archives For mentor

Love Goes With Trust

April 11, 2017

 

I was working in a cubicle at a major bank doing home loan underwriting. While there, I met an older gentlemen, whose name I won’t mention here.

Fast forward a few years later and he’s now my best friend and mentor. He’s like a Father to me.

Well, a few hours ago, just before writing this blog post, he shared something with me via the phone that was so important and so key to relationship building. It is something I know I’ll be keeping in mind for the rest of my life…and that…is the issue of real love.

In his own words, as I listened to him over the phone, he told me this:

Some people never get to experience real love. In order to truly love the way you’re supposed to love — where you give all of your love instead of holding back out of fear — is to be filled with God — because God is Love.

Some people will never know this kind of love — the love that says that the other person with you is free.

Even now, Kendall, you only know of a certain level of love. But there is a type of love greater than where you are, Kendall, that you know nothing about

Wow and double wow.

And he was right. Being single (at the time of writing this blog post of course) and writing this article, it is true. I do not know what it is like to love a spouse. But, I should know what it is like and what it means to love a person.

1 Corinthians 13 is the scripture that often reminds me what love is and is not and my friend continued to explain what He had learned and large amounts of it were very Biblical.

If you truly love someone you will trust them. Some people have zero trust, and therefore, can’t love that person fully. Because they can’t learn that person fully, it is evident that they do not have real, true and genuine love. At least, not enough love that person, regardless of how they may have treated you or regardless of what you may think is in there heart.

Imagine what could happen if we actually opened up, loved more and genuinely cared and trusted one another.

We just need to get over our fear.

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Making Investments

August 23, 2016

making investments

I love talking with my friend and mentor. He’s much older than me and is full of wisdom.

He has been like a Father to me, encouraging me and sharing with me wisdom that he hopes that will make me go further ahead than what I dream and even further than him.

In one of our most recent discussions, he spoke to me about making sure I keep making investments in my life. He was pretty blunt with me!

“I had to change!” he said. “I couldn’t wait on my circumstances to change.”

Something boyish rose up within me. Something unsettlingly immature. A lot of men know what I’m talking about here…the feeling of the inner boy exclaiming, “no…I shouldn’t change! Why should I! Shouldn’t things just work the way they should! This is unfair! Why should I put in extra work!? I paid my dues!”

Looking back, it was the condition of my head and heart. But my mentor, with grace and mercy, let me know what the reality of it all is. We we have talked for years about the old thoughts and mindsets I used to have…the woundings from my boyhood and the responsibilities of manhood…everything that I needed to understand to be all that God created me to be! That helped…believe me!

Now, I was in advanced classes as I sat with my mentor and gained insight that years ago when we met I wouldn’t have been ready for.

If I want change in my life…real change…changes in my life spiritually, mentally, physically, financially….I would need to make investments. I would have to make the time. I would have to make…(gulps the inner boy)…sacrifices!

I had to let go of the notion that I “paid my dues” and that I was owed something. That was hard, because it seemed like I was waving the white flag to those who claim that others are “entitled” when in fact some claim it under the guise of self-proclaimed humility.

I also had to let go of the idea that “it was too much!” My friend told me, “you have everything you need!” He was right. It was time to simply grow up. It was time to make investments…and double up into the ones I have already made…into what mattered to me the most.

Faith.

Relationships.

Career.

Finance.

Entrepreneurship.

Writing

Cartooning.

I could only imagine what your list might be!

When you sacrifice and decide to change, from the way you think to the way you act and react, you began to approach things from a different perspective.