My life is not perfect. But, I am where God wants me to be. Whenever I get doubtful of that, I am immediately reminded through His Word and through past experiences that God knows what He’s doing with me.
But, I’ll be honest, if it were up to me, it would be easier. Things would be almost “perfect.”
It’s that endless search to be “whole” in some kind of way … and we quickly look to things, possessions, opportunities and things of the like to do so.
I would have the abs I want. I would have the muscles I want. I would have the clothes I want. I would have the phone I want. I would have the computer I want, the car, the house, and so forth and so on.
But, that’s not perfect. That’s just stuff. I would stay on the topic of material possessions, but that’s a whole other discussion in of itself.
I’ll admit, the places and plans that we have for our own lives sound “perfect,” but I am beginning to see that those thoughts come when we seek to have a life that’s without challenges and trouble. I’ve been guilty of this more than not.
In so many ways, it’s like God has been keeping me from trying to have it so “perfect” down here on earth and in my own definition in an effort to keep me from missing the experience of relationship and life with Him and Christ Jesus both here and in heaven.
And, then there’s the irony around this desire. We simply cannot and will not be able to experience the “perfect” life by way of material possessions or life circumstances that are consistently in our favor.
1 Peter 5:10 (NKJV)
But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect,establish, strengthen, and settle you.
Interestingly enough, I have found out over the years that I have learned to walk out my faith in Christ, that “perfection” requires a bit of suffering.
I acknowledge that I don’t know what kind of suffering you’ll experience. The New Bible Dictionary defines “suffering” as “conflict, pain, corruption, drudgery and death.”
But, we have God’s Grace (God’s unmerited favor) on our lives to get us through those periods of suffering.
2 Corinthians 12:9 (NKJV)
And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities,that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
God will “perfect,” or make us whole, suitable, adapted for something! Our understanding of why we are still here, being the best we can be, living the life we’re supposed to have, starts with God in Christ Jesus!
He’s the only one whose able to “perfect” our hearts and our minds so we can keep from running to “stuff” to help us perfect something to our own adaptation.
Along with perfecting us, God will establish, strengthen and settle us, meaning that he will make us strong and make us rooted and grounded in Him as we focus on Him rather than the circumstances.
Lately, I’ve noticed that whenever I write and blog on matters of faith as it relates to the Bible, Biblical principles, God and Christ and life being a regular Christian, the more readers I get.
For my wife, Rachel and I, we do not think that is merely a coincidence.
I’m grateful for those who are even the least beat curious as to what I have to say in literary form … very, very grateful!
I really love writing and blogging online. It is one of the things that I enjoy doing whenever I get the chance too, and at one point, I was consistently doing it on a daily basis.
I hope to actually do it more often with the hope to share more of who I am with you as well as give you an inside scoop on what the Lord is, and has been doing, in my life.
Which takes me to one of the reasons I’m writing again — my wife Rachel.
When Rachel and I were just friends, she would read my blogs so many times a week. She would read my articles and discover the real me … the me that spoke through my blog the truth of the Gospel and expressed the personal challenges of living as a Christian in this day and age.
I actually am going to give the idea of blogging about my life as a Christian a try. I don’t think I actually talk enough about my faith online except for my social media channels and I’m beginning to think that’s where my voice belongs.
There’s a lot of people who need encouragement, truth and love. And maybe it is time to serve more with what I’ve got.
Considering the world the way it is, I don’t think I can afford not too!
My experiences of bullying was both verbal and physical.
It happened consistently in elementary and middle school. Fortunately, it didn’t really happen all that much during high school.
I usually describe myself as a “different” kind of kid growing up. It was the only way I could really explain why I was such a target for bullies. I look back now after sharing my story with my wife, family and friends, that it wasn’t so much that I was “different,” but that I was genuinely being more of myself than majority of my classmates.
They were the ones with the problem. Not me. And it took a long time to grasp hold of that reality.
I wasn’t into sports. I loved writing and drawing. I loved reading. I was into cartoons and comics. I loved keeping up with current events. I was really into science, technology and sci-fi. I even had a bit of an obsession with Nuclear Power and Nuclear Energy. I was a regular boy … but my classmates thought I was weird, a freak of nature, different.
I can vividly remember my time at S.S. Conner Elementary. Whenever I said my name, some of the boys and girls in my class would mock me … repeating my name and what I would say and how they thought I sounded. I wore glasses, sometimes had a nasally speech, and would often be called “Steve Urkel,” the kid that was on ABC’s Family Matters.
When it came to classroom seating or classroom projects, the kids would act repulsed and disgusted to be around me.
I would be called names like “gay,” “stupid,” “slow,” “retarded,” and the list went on and on.
Sometimes, the fights got physical. Whether it was on the playground or on the way home, I would sometimes be followed around by a group of boys who would try to fight me and often hit me, laughing at me, mocking me.
During that time, I would tell my parents and they would talk to the teachers and the principal.
The solution for my bullying problem was often: “just ignore them!” And to make matters worse, sometimes the teachers or other adults around just wouldn’t care to do anything about it.
It felt like people who were in authority failed me.
Once, I was told by one of my parents, “if you let yourself get beaten up, you’re getting a spanking.”
So, I spent a large amount of my childhood avoiding physical conflict out of fear of getting hurt and out of fear of punishment.
That threat only made matters worse.
Middle school was the worst time for me. When I was going to Gaston Middle School I would take the school bus. The bus was usually very full and on really hot days, incredibly humid and uncomfortable. Kids would purposely try and keep me from sitting down, sometimes tripping me as I walked down the aisle.
If I sat in the front or near the middle, I was safe most of the time. I had very, very few friends and the ones I did have we mostly hung out at the bus stop for survival, hoping we wouldn’t be talked too or talked about.
I would hope and pray every single day that the kids on the bus, especially the ones in the middle section and the back of the bus, wouldn’t speak to me or get eye contact with me. When they did, they would talk about my looks and belittle me in any and every way to make me feel embarrassed and humiliated.
I remember the soul-stinging remarks of one kid who stared straight at me and said in front of everyone, “if he and I were related, he would kill himself.”
Some would ask me, “why do you act white!?” and “why do you talk white.” Others got personal, even sexual with their comments, but I would never answer or make conversations apart from telling them to “shut up” or “leave me alone.”
Many of those days and nights ended with me angry, sad, frustrated, crying and embarrassed and disappointed over the fact that I couldn’t do more about my bullying situation.
Most of my survival of those bullying experiences involved me going to the counselors office where sometimes I would sit, hang out and talk out some of my thoughts and frustrations. Some teachers and other officials took a liking to me, even though my classmates would not.
Adulthood
At the writing of this article, I’ve worked out a lot of issues in my life that came from bullying, from abuse and from the anxiety that weighed me down and the thoughts I had about the adults in my life then and now.
Growing up in the church and maintaining a real and whole relationship with God and being a follower of Jesus Christ, my mind and heart has been changing in the following ways:
My life has purpose, value and worth!
I am more of who I was made to be and daily living to be who God made me to be.
I forgive my bullies. (THIS took some time. Read the article below)
I forgive the adults who failed me growing up.
And the latest one … I’m learning that there are times that you will have to fight … and sometimes those fights are not with fisticuffs (fists). The fight can also be spiritual and internal. A fight for your heart and mind is going on.
As an adult, I look back and I look at present day issues on bullying, knowing that it is not an easy thing to overcome.
A lot has changed in the way we deal with bullying now, especially when we’ve seen the affects it has on children, teens and adults.
I commit to talking more and more about bullying … more than I used too!
Solution
My desk area where I do some of my writing. Also, inspired by my action figures of Sonic, Tails and Much More! (c) Cartoon Daily News, 2013.
To every kid, to every adult who feels like they can’t go on and that the bullying has gotten out of hand, I want you to know that you are not alone.
You’re not a loser. You’re not a failure. You’re not a nobody.
You matter! You’re unique! You’re genuine!
You have more people now to tell. You have opportunities to stand up. You have options.
Don’t give up! Don’t give up on your life. Don’t give up on being successful. Don’t give up on being who you really are. Don’t give up on the hope and faith that things can and will be get better!
And, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. You can start by speaking up. You can start by not taking it all and going it all alone.
And, for those are needing to be walked with on the journey of survival and overcoming bullying, I am more than happy to use the power of the pen and the keyboard to walk with you.
Yesterday, I took time away from most things that busy my day (the blog, the social media, etc and etc), and really began to think about what I’m really, really passionate about as it relates to my career and calling in life … my work. Majority of that time was spent, quietly, in prayer, writing, reading and just taking time away from breaking news, social media and consistent busyness.
Over and over again, I could feel the pull of writing, cartooning and storytelling.
Journalism is merely a small piece of that reality. And yet, it is one that is so important to consider.
When I’m not busy with a barrage of news stories, interviewing, writing and editing, I’m often working on my sci-fi fictional writing, short stories, blogs, and my comic strips. As of late, I have not taken the time to actually work on those stories and have only recently began to get back to blogging. That’s my fault.
I was glad to be reminded … to just take time away and just get away from all of the noise of the world … and really hear what is tugging at my heart.
Each time, I’m reminded of my childhood. I’m reminded of my ongoing imagination playing storyline after storyline of ideas, characters, concepts and more. Sometimes, if I’m not careful, I slip into that same thought pattern, coming up with stories and thinking about the plots of my current work more and more.
I do it so much, it feels like those characters in my middle-grade novels and comics I’m writing and creating are my kids. One, because a bit of myself is in each of them and then two, my wife said that they are my kids. And she’s right.
She then told me this:
“Finish your stories … if not for yourself … for me!” – Rachel Lyons
